* Beauty Review Fest of the Week:
Men are annoying. Ok, it’s not just the affinity for sports involving latex and butt slaps, the incapability of putting the seat down when we’ve asked them nicely, or the pension for Jessica Alba no matter matter how skinny she gets (and the obvious hotness of Christina Hendricks by comparison). Even though some fabulous specimens of manhood might exist (as I have thankfully learned in recent weeks), they are much like the perfect shade of lipstick: allusive and near extinct. In fact, most male’s inability to comprehend the hidden neurosis and finite details of a woman’s beauty routine is perhaps worst of all. Unlike men- who use a bar of soap, some Q-tips and a comb before calling it a day- we ladies have to approach our mirrored physics as delicately as a 2 year old on the verge of a meltdown. If we don’t combat our follicles, complexions and eyelash length with the perfect amount of coaxing, products and un-pressured time in the bathroom, we will constantly look the way that motherhood makes us feel: like we haven’t slept since our 20’s.
And even though I pride myself on being relatively low maintenance (my bathroom time averages between 15 and 30 minutes, and I haven’t touched the likes of eyeshadow, blush or lipstick in years), the ability to look like I “don’t care what I look like” is about as honest as Kelly Osbourne’s current hair shade of lavender grey. Perhaps the hardest part of all is keeping the majority of my body hair free, something that takes nearly Cirque De Soleil levels of acrobatics whilst standing in a Barbie-littered shower as two children scream from the opposing side of the curtain. Men complain at length about having to shave their face every few days… have you ever tried shaving 70% of your body? What about leggy appendages spanning 3 feet, which can’t be reached without Madonna inspired Yogi poses?
If I were Kim Kardashian, I’d be all over the idea of laser hair removal, and have considered recreating Oceans 11 in order to afford doing so (Matt Damon hopefully included). But since, I know that shaving will always be a part of my future, and the warmer spring months are fast approaching, there are fortunately a few tricks up my sleeve…
* Use Deodorant…On Your Legs: Razor burn is one of the most annoying creations on earth (outside of Tickle Me Elmo and finger-paint), and thus must be destroyed. One of the quickest- though albeit weirdest- ways to eliminate irritation from shaving is to apply a swipe of gentle, soothing deodorant to offending areas in an upwards sweeping motion immediately after bathing. It sounds bizarre (in an OMC-circa-1995 kind of way), but it’ll work on your thighs, shins… anywhere!
* Get Balmy: Beauty balms might be all of the rage in Asia right now (I am personally in love with this option from Dr. Jart+), but they can be a great way to calm and treat broken skin on your body too. Smooth a small amount of beauty balm to freshly shaven skin before heading out, and it’ll look even and soft in no time!
* Sound Off: Would you ever consider laser hair removal?
Makeover Momma™ occasionally receives cosmetic products for review, with no obligation to positively promote or cover said brand. Receiving products has absolutely no influence over our recommendation of any particular product.