Dating as a single mom: yay or nay? Let’s not kid ourselves friends, most people think that single mothers are either looking to get a leg up (fiscally, not literally), looking to take a load off (or at least gain two additional sets of opposable-thumb-oriented appendages around the house), or looking for anyone who is stupid enough to date a single mom. Sound a little harsh? It’s nothing I haven’t heard before, and is about as earnest and accurate as Glenn Beck or James Frey whilst chopping down cherry trees.
No offense to all of the men out there (really, you are my favorite people when pickle jars need to be opened or when your name starts with Dave and ends with Matthews), but… a woman’s goal in life does not always peak when testosterone enters the room. Whether your partner is a devoted husband or of the sapphic variety, sometimes a girl just wants to pop in her retainer, stretch out in bed and not worry if she’s drooling. To watch TLC “Say Yes To The Dress” marathons and not pretend she thinks they all look like cupcakes (fabulous, tulle-draped cupcakes she’ll be pinning to her secret wedding board later, that is). To pretend we like your beard when really it gives us this horrible rash all over our chin and kind of makes your face look fatter (what am I, a pogonophile?)
Yes, I can’t screw-drive basically anything that could be screw-driven, or grill various meats, or hammer nails, or clean gutters (bonus points if you read that sentence without your brain going to a dirty place), but I’m pretty sure I could if I tried… or cared. No, the only reason this single momma dates is not because of a lack of wholeness or subsequent need for completion (take that Jerry McGuire), but rather… because I’ve earned it.
I’ve earned the right to be loved the right kind of way. To show my girls how teammates really work. To find a best friend that I can laugh with, and get [moderately] wrinkly with, and make fun of all of the nose-to-nose snuggly Pinterest iconography attempting to depict love with (are they being ironic?) Yes, I will always be the best mother I can possibly be and put my children first. But at the same time, I want to present them with a picture of a complete, autonomous, happy, motivated, passionate woman who finds fulfillment not only from her family, but from the act of living in general. Being challenged. Pursuing dreams. Having friends. And yes, maybe enjoying a healthy, fulfilling, partially-ironical relationship, if that’s what’s meant to be.
Until then, enjoy the following fabulous drunkard commentary that inspires me (cynical as I may be) to not completely give up hope on allowing pickle-jar-openers into our world.
What Do You Think?: Can single parents date?