If My Life Were Eat, Pray, Love… I’d Be Stuck in the Pasta Montage


The Idea: Lately, I want to give up. I want to throw in the towel. I want to wave the white flag. After a lifetime of working as a health writer, a dance teacher and a former Certified Personal Trainer… my life is now an odd flux of breathing perfectly in one minute, but reliant on oxygen the next. Since my health began to decline a few years ago (to be clear, it was always an issue but was easily ignored and somewhat overlooked in the past), I have all but completely forgotten the girl who formed Makeover Momma back in 2008. That person that used to teach mother and infant stroller classes… condition Sugar Plums for ballet companies…and write dietary articles between. Now, I bounce from one M&M to the next (preferably the blue ones), and the last time I contracted my abs was as prelude to a sneeze.

Riddle me this, guys: If you could only breathe with less than 1/2 your normal lung capacity (minus more than a literal lung, basically)… would you really care about working out? If you couldn’t manage to maintain a healthy weight because of a pesky pancreas and mounting infections… would you want to eat well, or simply salute to Snickers once and for all? Even though my questions may be different from yours in nature, we all have reasons to forfeit (has anyone heard of this thing called “”motherhood? It’s super time consuming.)

Although I may have every “excuse” to curl and cry (an exceptional talent of mine, by the way), I am deciding to fight back. Not only do I have two huge reasons for not giving up (their names are Kinley and Follin), but I can’t rely on treatments and medicine alone. In fact, sometimes the chemical and clinical world seems to do more harm than good (except for nurses, because they’re like mothers with better drugs). Instead, I want to use a balanced lifestyle to heal myself, as well as my view of myself. It doesn’t matter if I never get completely off oxygen, or become entirely capable of running a flight of stairs: the important thing is that I just keep trying.

Therefor and henceforth, I have decided to commit to a real fitness and nutrition program for the first time ever(ish). As with so many of us, I don’t often hold myself accountable to truly eating enough variety… or vitamins… or veggies (and onward!) I’ve decided on the 21 Day Fix for my first month of “getting healthy”, because it’s truly a concept I can get behind. As a senselessly lazy cook in the kitchen, I love how “the Fix” gives you multiple colored containers per day, which help you measure out the right amount of ingredients- veggies, carbs, healthy fats, etc- without having to count calories, or worry about specific restrictions. It’s even more brainless then I just made it sound… so basically, it’s perfect for me! Unfortunately, I think my biggest wake up call is going to be how much more protein I need to eat daily (do peanut butter M&M’s count?)

In terms of fitness, the Fix comes with daily workouts that are only 30 minutes and use a wide variety of techniques (weights, Yoga, Pilates, etc). For me, I dig this idea because I can exercise right at home (near my oxygen… in my pajamas… with my kids), and can easily justify half-an-hour daily. I’m not even commuting to or from a gym, which – if you know how difficult it is to load two children in a car- can take upwards of 48 hours.

 photo Challenge_zpsa12288c2.png

Ok, so here’s the tricky part: I decided to become a coach too. Why so tricky? Because there is nothing I hate more then people who try to “sell” me on things (ew). Seriously, I think I’m allergic to sales (other then the “50% Off” variety), and so, vacillated on this decision for eons before making the leap. The only reason why I chose to finally go for it is because even my fellow cynics sometimes need a fresh start. That’s right: I want to be a coach for cynics. If you have given up on yourself as I am constantly contemplating – whether because of chronic illness… or a struggle with your weight… or a struggle with existing in a world where George Clooney is getting married- then maybe this is not your last stop. Maybe there is someone just as lazy, and exhausted, and ill as you (hint: that person is me!), who doesn’t want to be perfect, but just wants to be healthy. For me, this is about moving forward, holding myself accountable, and just sucking it the heck up … life goes on, and so must I, right?

Here Is What I Promise You Guys:

1. I will not sell. Yep, I’m not selling. Sorry dudes, but I refuse… I’m just too bad at this. Instead, I promise to post photos, updates and honest experiences about my own journey, in case you want to join me on yours.

2. I will not inundate you with posts. Makeover Momma is still Makeover Momma, and we still have important, life saving and selfless subjects to discuss (namely, lip gloss and pantie lines)… Ok? I am a writer, first and foremost.

3. I will not inspire you. Ok, so maybe I will inspire you unintentionally (working out with a gtube in your stomach, a port in your chest, and shoddy lung-eths? It’s sort of bad ass in a really really slow-moving, deoxygenated kind of way). But I will never “glow” in photos instead of “sweat”, and I will continue to complain that the world’s supply of nutrients should be derived entirely from Nutella.

4. I will not get preachy. Gosh do I wish I could superimpose a photo of myself doing the “raise the roof”, hallelujah action from Orange is the New Black a la Pennsatucky, but for now I’ll simply say: six-pack or not (we’re leaning towards not), if I can make healthy living a priority amid the madness… can’t we all?

All of that being said, if you want to follow my journey or chat more about the goodies I’m trying (including Shakeology), keep an eye out for updates along the way. I have another surgery in a couple of weeks, so won’t truly start the process for a few more days. Good distraction from surgery though, right? Upwards and onwards! Who’s with me?

 photo BigCoach_zpsf97f7e94.png

Be Honest: Will you follow my journey?

Posted in Body Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
3 comments on “If My Life Were Eat, Pray, Love… I’d Be Stuck in the Pasta Montage
  1. Ali says:

    I’m a Beachbody coach too! I have a genuine interest in working with others suffering from chronic illness, because like you- I know what it’s like; the struggle is real. We also have various other interests and I’d love to exchange info and chat more… If that’s OK with you? Oh, BTW this is @alishoreshine2Bfit from IG! You have my email, so shoot me an email if you’re interested in swapping stories, chatting, networking and sharing resources! BTW, where are you at? I’m in Arizona. Anyway- hope to talk to you soon!


  2. Katy says:

    So my life is in disarray due to chronic illness. I think I just accepted you as a friend on FB. Just read this post and loved it. I feel exactly the way you feel. I’m waiting on a kidney transplant and a SECOND lung transplant. I’m really sick, but sort of lazy also. I want to do more and be healthier but I feel like shit 24/7. Maybe we could inspire each other?

    A year ago I was planning my wedding, working overtime working as a nurse and able to do mud runs and 10ks.

    Now if I make it out of my apartment a few days a week it’s a big feat.

    I am looking forward to following you and seeing your progress/journey.

  3. K-Jolly says:

    I don’t stalk your website enough. Shame on me for that. I stalk you on social media, but not here, and I SHOULD. This is amazing. YOU are amazing.

    I love that you’re doing this for yourself.
    I love that you’re doing this selflessly for others, too.

    You’re an inspiration to me DAILY. <3

Find us on Google Plus