Guide To… a 5-Minute Bronzey Glow
My body is naturally olive-ish in the sense that certain shades of makeup look terrible on me, and my “pale” skin-tone is a weird brand of yellow. But when it comes to my face… it’s almost always a lot lighter than the rest of me. I’m guessing this is because I’ve spent the better part of my life exfoliating a layer or two off a day (not really… but, really)- so things just don’t mesh up. This means that I’ve gone through a steady stream of bronzer options throughout the years with little success. It almost always looks flat (not like my chest)… or fake (not like my reaction to anyone attempting to discuss last night’s Kardashian episode)… or a combination of both.
Lately, however, I figured out the following concoction on a whim and a prayer (they’re not called bronze gods for nothin’), and have gotten an overwhelming amount of, “Well, you look like you’re feeling better!” comments lately. Even when I am feeling like a pooh-pooh-platter, it seems that everyone else is fooled by my fabulous faux-glow foil… Glorious, right? I’m practicing my malevolent laugh for later, but for now… Let the evil plan unfold.
No edits or filters: my normal pale freckle face
Still no edits or filters: but a little bit ‘o glow
The golden product in question – the one that made everyone believe I’m miraculously healed- is none other than the L’oreal Wash-Off Bronzer Cream with SPF 20. To be honest, I’ve tried a ton of products like this- most notably, the Tanwise Wash-Off Bronzing Mousse from Sally Beauty. And it’s good, sure… But on my face? It tends to leave things a little more ruddy and flat than lit-from-within. This magical whimsy-of-a-purchase was something I grabbed without thinking (while washed in a deep sea of Mom Guilt), but have carried on to celebrate the day. I mix equal amounts of this with the Neutrogena Age Shiled – is SPF 110 a real thing?– every morning, and schmear it all over my face and down my neck. I love the idea that it gives me a “tan” while actually preventing sun damage… Mind blow? Maybe not, but it’s still cool. Sometimes I add an additional spray of the L’oreal Sunscreen Dry Oil in SPF 50 (the golden spray bottle in the photo below), especially to help blend this concoction down my neck, chest and the tops of my hands.
I have always loved mineral makeup when it comes to foundation, and tend to stipple a small amount of Bare Minerals – thoroughly sprayed with Bactine or Matte setting spray to become a weirdly perfect liquid concoction- as I head out the door. Somedays, however, this heavier option is exactly that: too heavy and not enough glow. After running out of my Bare Minerals primer in Light, I decided to try this E.L.F liquid foundation serum instead, hoping that I’d find a fabulous “steal” along the way. I love discovering cheats to pricer options… and this was exactly that. It’s normally about $8, but I got it during some type of special-sale-super-deal for a lot cheaper. After prepping your face with the glow + SPF combo, dip a fluffy foundation brush in a small amount of this serum, and rapidly “stipple” all over any areas that need additional coverage. It’s a great way to even out your skin-tone without needing any extra concealer under your eyes, contouring, or cakey layers.
I have recommended this product before, but this time, it can be used in two different ways. This Crayola-like eyebrow option can fill in sparse brows rapidly in the morning, but it can be used quickly along your lash line to add dimension too. A soft swipe of the brown shades give contrast to tired eyes, but still keeps your look soft. No thick black liquid liner or lid shading… Just a “Did she have an extra cup of coffee today?” effect that takes mere seconds to accomplish.
Okay, so this product was a gamble. I read about it online, purchased it for $2, and thought I’d hate it. At the time, only the pink option was available (that tends to be a little too Quinn to my Daria when it comes to lip shades), and the notion that it adjusts to your natural lip color- thus creating a hue perfect for you and you alone- sounded like a crock. Well, I haven’t gone to great lengths to compare my lips to someone elses thus far… though I should… But on me? I love it. If I don’t want to look like I have any lipstick on (as if my pucker naturally shimmers for no reason), then it’s ideal. It’s natural, it’s soft, and it goes on with one swipe. Since my purchase, E.L.F. has come out with two more shades: a deep plum and a bright orange, and I literally can’t wait to get my paws on the plum (but, thanks to Mom Guilt, can’t justify the purchase until some sort of flash sale arises and the price goes down to pennies).
A glow without the Guilt? This I can handle.
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