I need to workout. Not just in a vain “I want Kaley Cuoco’s abs” kind of way (true dat), but in a “my life depends on it” kind of way. Even though I’m smoking the “peace pipe” – otherwise known as my neb- more frequently than Alice’s caterpillar (Side note, does anyone else feel like that word is not spelled how you expect it to be? Oh yes, and this translates to four treatments a day). If I’m not puffing that magic dragon, I’m hooked up to oxygen… so basically, it’s like Fear and Loathing over here nearly every night of the week (Hunter S would be proud). My point? Assuming I have one, the desire to workout is not only becoming less and less by the millisecond, but also increasingly more painful and difficult. Still, my doctor insists that “pulma rehab” (translation: short, lame amounts of physical activity) is necessary for fighting back, and also helps keep my chest as clear as possible. Further translation: this girl needs to get moving for a few minutes everyday, even when I literally can’t breathe.
So, if you want to find shortcuts to fitness tedium like me, and get straight to the point (being healthy), read on…
* Goal #1: Do 15 minutes of something everyday… even if you’re just using this app. I am in love with this app by Nike+ Training. One of my physical therapist friends is also in love with this app (sort of telling, right?), as are her super fit, young, don’t-have-kids, likely-still-attractive friends. (Maybe I’m making assumptions, but in my head, they’re all as fit and gorgeous as she is.) Since I’m not above peer pressure, this is super motivating (plus, that whole “the doctor told me to” thing). If you want to truly workout without having to hit the gym, this is the best app I’ve found so far. It’s completely free, but allows you to pick a different focus whenever you want (“Get Lean” or “Get Toned”), jump immediately in to a workout of your choosing, and follow along at rapid speed. Workouts vary in length- so you can do a full 45 minute intensive session without spending tons on DVDs or personal trainers- or have demonstrative options if you don’t know how to do the exercise correctly. If you just want to “wham, bam, thank you fine sir” the whole situation and get it done, just follow along. The app cycles through exercises quickly for an intensive circuit routine- counting down the second, telling you when to switch, and encouraging you on. (For us deafies, by the way, it has lots of visual cues so you’re still good. Most def.)
* Goal #2: Workout more than just your muscles. My brain is tired… stressed… and overly medicated. In an effort to qualm this effect, I’m on a big kick about dorking (that has to be a verb) sans guilt. Firstly, I am re-leaning a new language via the completely free app Duolingo. Obviously I can’t read French lips very well per say, but learning it through a series of games, writing, reading, and so forth has proven to be more effective than any other dalliances in foreign soil I’ve tried before. I also have a “fact of the day”, “word of the day”, and so forth pushed to my phone as often as possible (daily, if that wasn’t already assumed) to keep me so fresh, so prince. This also helps give the illusion as to my intelligence by providing annoyingly pretentious “info bombs” in to conversation when none were warranted, but still doesn’t improve my Trivial Pursuit abilities (really, who wins that game?)
* Goal #3: No shame, only gain. Every little bit counts. Every mom knows this fact, and yet most of us (namely, me) have an “all or nothing” approach to everything… except cleaning the house. Commit to a workout regimen? Meh. Start hashtagging my jargon with #cleaneating? Boo. Clean the kitchen? Sure, I can rearrange some items to create the illusion of a decor-savvy space (just don’t open my drawers). But in the world of exercise, doing little bits of “damage control” is actually not a bad or shameful thing. Lately, I’ve completely given up on being cool when it comes to workouts (you should see me do Zumba: it’s like Fabbio and Antonia Banderas made a love child), and just doing it. (Thanks Nike!… but really, thanks. I love that app). In the least, I try to keep sneakers in plain view, throw on my old-lady walking videos (compliments of the library), and get strutting. To fight boredom, I even watch guilty pleasures on Hulu and simply follow the exercise video for visual cues. Before I know it, I’m sweaty and hiking to nowhere… but actually having a good time. No gym membership needed. No babysitter required. Just me (and often my coordination-challenged 4 year old) getting some cardio in the comforts of our own home.
* Goal #4: Remember, fitness isn’t everything. Obviously, there is basically little point in working out if you’re eating terribly. However, since I’m supposed to eat upwards of 4,000 calories a day (yes, really,) I’ve become the queen of mayo and peanut butter and chocolate. Not all together, but… actually, that’s worth a try. Anyways, my hospital dietician is working closely with my other doctors to make sure I’m ingesting as many nutrients as possible, so I’ve had to keep track of my food on a daily basis. If you want to track your calories or become more aware of what you’re ingesting (even if it’s for weight loss reasons or just to feel better), getting app-y never hurt anyone… except your data plan. I’ve fallen in love with the free MealLogger app because it lets you take pictures of what you’re eating that day, and automatically catalog it. It’s super easy, and holds me accountable (a picture is worth a thousand words). But a lot of other food-loggers recommend the MyFitnessPal app because you can scan the barcode of whatever you’re eating, and it instantly recognizes basically all foods in the history of the world… that have barcodes. You can enter or look things up manually too, and it shows you the calorie count of everything (unlike MealLogger) which is pretty rockin.
Want to join me with these goals? Share the love on Makeover Momma Pinterest page and comment below.
Let Me Know: Agree or disagree? Will you take on any of these goals as your own?