I have trouble controlling my passions.
Ok, I donâ€™t mean that in a â€œParis Hilton night visionâ€ kind of way, but in the sense that I am often overcome with all the things I want to do in life. For example, lately Iâ€™ve wanted to go back to college and earn my degree in deaf education, create a program to bring dance therapy to disabled children (and oh yeah, I also kind of want to be on Oprah and become a super lean Yogi practitioner).
The only downside to passions? They take time and they take money (the two things of which mothers are most often completely without). The funny thing is that most of my passions truly exploded after becoming a parent (and not when I had all the time, energy and Downward Dog flexibility of being a single, white female). But why is that motherhood seems to ignite our passions almost instantly, only to make it nearly impossible to actually realize them?
Perhaps itâ€™s because we were created to foster passions and interests inside of our own children, or maybe itâ€™s to ensure that we truly believe our words when we say, â€œYou can be anything you want to be.â€ But frankly, watching Passions on day time TV and actually acting on your own goals are two completely different things, and the line between healthy aspirations and mounting resentment can often begin to blur.
And if youâ€™re squirming in your chair right now because I actually just admitted thatÂ (and thinking â€œWhat a bad Mom that she doesnâ€™t find enough joy in her children aloneâ€), then please serve your healthy dose of mommy judgment to someone else (or watch out for glass walls with rocks in your hands). As a young mother who never got the time to “party”, dream big or even sleep in past 8 a.m., I work very hard to make sure that â€œregretâ€ is never a word that enters my repertoire.
And frankly, how could it? For every moment that I could be throwing back one too many Flavor-of-the-month-tinis and squeezing into dresses the size of my thumb, I get to cuddle up for formula Happy Hour and hold hands with the tiny thumbs I was lucky enough to create (even if they never seem to stop growing). And for every day that I wish I could just hang out with friends, finish a full sentence or take a long nap, I remember that I am single handedly responsible for teaching my daughterâ€™s their first sentences or seeing their smiles when they wake up from nap-time.
Are there days where I would rather be worrying about things like my Yoga muscles or which copy of US Weekly I want to read? Of course. Are there moments that the idea of studying a textbook or talking with other adults in a classroom actually sounds like a relief? Yep. But in every instant that I want to make an impact on the world, I look down and see two people whose world I will impact the most.
And perhaps one day, when the time is right, I will be able to get a new degree, start a new profession or actually see a goal to fruitionâ€¦ but in the meantime, having the foresight to think about my own passions shouldnâ€™t be considered such a bad thing. Itâ€™s true that we serve our children best by focusing on them and being as selfless as humanly possible, but we often forget the power of passing motivations on to them as well. What better way to model the concept of shooting for the stars, then directly aiming for yours?
In the end, there is no greater achievement then my children. When my family and friends look back on me one day, I donâ€™t want them to say â€œWell, her abs were impeccableâ€ orÂ â€œGood thing she was on Oprah.â€ There could be no greater achievement in anyoneâ€™s life than to have someone simply say, â€œShe was a good mom.â€
I might not be the greatest mom in the world (if any such person exists), but if I can leave a legacy of children who are excited about their interests, keep reaching for their goals and are passionate about the world around themâ€¦Â then Iâ€™ll have done pretty darn good.
And if they can view their parents one day for the sacrifices, excitements and (yes) even passions with which we live our lives?
Wellâ€¦ then I couldnâ€™t ask for more.
Bailey Vincent Clark is the Editor-in-chief, author and founder of Makeover Momma. She hosts Makeover Momma TV on Tuesday (7 PM/EST & 4 PM/PT), and has a weekly column on Friday: “Getting Friendly With Makeover Momma.” If you would like to ask questions, submit concerns or simply chat: please email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Makeover Mommaâ„¢ occasionally receives cosmetic products for review, with no obligation to positively promote or cover said brand. Receiving products has absolutely no influence over our recommendation of any particular product.