Being A Mother Is My World (Now Can I Rejoin The World?): Getting Friendly With Makeover Momma

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Dancing or teaching sign language to kids… how can I choose?

I have trouble controlling my passions.

Ok, I don’t mean that in a “Paris Hilton night vision” kind of way, but in the sense that I am often overcome with all the things I want to do in life. For example, lately I’ve wanted to go back to college and earn my degree in deaf education, create a program to bring dance therapy to disabled children (and oh yeah, I also kind of want to be on Oprah and become a super lean Yogi practitioner).

The only downside to passions? They take time and they take money (the two things of which mothers are most often completely without). The funny thing is that most of my passions truly exploded after becoming a parent (and not when I had all the time, energy and Downward Dog flexibility of being a single, white female). But why is that motherhood seems to ignite our passions almost instantly, only to make it nearly impossible to actually realize them?

Perhaps it’s because we were created to foster passions and interests inside of our own children, or maybe it’s to ensure that we truly believe our words when we say, “You can be anything you want to be.” But frankly, watching Passions on day time TV and actually acting on your own goals are two completely different things, and the line between healthy aspirations and mounting resentment can often begin to blur.

And if you’re squirming in your chair right now because I actually just admitted that  (and thinking “What a bad Mom that she doesn’t find enough joy in her children alone”), then please serve your healthy dose of mommy judgment to someone else (or watch out for glass walls with rocks in your hands). As a young mother who never got the time to “party”, dream big or even sleep in past 8 a.m., I work very hard to make sure that “regret” is never a word that enters my repertoire.

And frankly, how could it? For every moment that I could be throwing back one too many Flavor-of-the-month-tinis and squeezing into dresses the size of my thumb, I get to cuddle up for formula Happy Hour and hold hands with the tiny thumbs I was lucky enough to create (even if they never seem to stop growing). And for every day that I wish I could just hang out with friends, finish a full sentence or take a long nap, I remember that I am single handedly responsible for teaching my daughter’s their first sentences or seeing their smiles when they wake up from nap-time.

Are there days where I would rather be worrying about things like my Yoga muscles or which copy of US Weekly I want to read? Of course. Are there moments that the idea of studying a textbook or talking with other adults in a classroom actually sounds like a relief? Yep. But in every instant that I want to make an impact on the world, I look down and see two people whose world I will impact the most.

And perhaps one day, when the time is right, I will be able to get a new degree, start a new profession or actually see a goal to fruition… but in the meantime, having the foresight to think about my own passions shouldn’t be considered such a bad thing. It’s true that we serve our children best by focusing on them and being as selfless as humanly possible, but we often forget the power of passing motivations on to them as well. What better way to model the concept of shooting for the stars, then directly aiming for yours?

In the end, there is no greater achievement then my children. When my family and friends look back on me one day, I don’t want them to say “Well, her abs were impeccable” or  “Good thing she was on Oprah.” There could be no greater achievement in anyone’s life than to have someone simply say, “She was a good mom.”

I might not be the greatest mom in the world (if any such person exists), but if I can leave a legacy of children who are excited about their interests, keep reaching for their goals and are passionate about the world around them…  then I’ll have done pretty darn good.

And if they can view their parents one day for the sacrifices, excitements and (yes) even passions with which we live our lives?

Well… then I couldn’t ask for more.

Bailey Vincent Clark is the Editor-in-chief, author and founder of Makeover Momma. She hosts Makeover Momma TV on Tuesday (7 PM/EST & 4 PM/PT), and has a weekly column on Friday: “Getting Friendly With Makeover Momma.” If you would like to ask questions, submit concerns or simply chat: please email bailey@makeovermomma.com.

Makeover Mommaâ„¢ occasionally receives cosmetic products for review, with no obligation to positively promote or cover said brand. Receiving products has absolutely no influence over our recommendation of any particular product.

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2 comments on “Being A Mother Is My World (Now Can I Rejoin The World?): Getting Friendly With Makeover Momma
  1. Veronica says:

    Absolutely beautiful! I think you are 100% right when you say it is a sacrifice. You COULD being trying to achieve all those things…but it’s a choice, a sacrifice. One that i believe (and hope lol) our kids will be forever grateful for. I dont think think they will ever grow up and be like, “Gosh i wish my mom wasnt around when i was a kid, i wish she was off trying to achieve her goals. I wish she wasnt there during every big or small milestone of my life, that she wasnt there if i ever needed something as “simple” as a hug when i feeling down or a pair of eyes to “Watch this!! Watch this!!”. I always think of my kids as the little birds in Nemo chanting, only they are saying, “Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom.” lol. To be honest as much its drives me nuts sometimes, especially when im trying to get even one sentence out while im the phone lol…i know one day theyll become teenagers and think im a nerd, and i will long for theses days and all the hugs and kisses lol! I could be totally wrong but sometimes i feel like those feelings are a form of temptation, letting society make us feel like we are “just” a lowly mom . But i know one day when im old and gray i will look back at my life and look into my kids, and my grandkids faces and feel the biggest sense of accomplishment knowing i gave every ounce of my heart and time to them (and sometimes more lol). You are an amazing woman Bailey, and writing things like this for us moms is such an inspiration and encouragement, the more i read your work the more i love you!! Thank you. 🙂

  2. Renee says:

    Anyone who says that motherhood is ALL they need to feel accomplished and complete is a liar. Even the most gungho of soccer moms feel pings of “I would love to do this or that.”

    I went back to work (waiting tables) only 4 weeks after Moanna was born because I was miserable at home with her. I felt like my brain and everything I could contribute to the world was being wasted. I became a much happier person and a much better person after returning to work. When she turned two, I started to have intense desires to stay at home and take care of her and our family. A year later, here I sit at home and I am completely happy with that. Now that I do not work 70 hours a week outside of the home I have time for my family and more time for myself. I go to yoga several times a week (I’m getting ready to start hot yoga – YIKES), I have time to write and pursue that passion, I have time read, I have time to enjoy motherhood and not feel guilty for only have five minutes here or there to give to Moanna. Maybe later I will want to return to a career outside the home, but for now this works.

    I think it is important to remember that you have to do things for yourself in order to be able to give yourself to others. Only you know what is best for you and your family. Most importantly, you must know that you are doing your best at whatever you are doing.

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